A Shitty Post

So as I become more learn-ed in the art of blood pressure taking, I am realizing the psycological operations involved. You can't take someone's respiration rate if they know that's what you're doing. Bastards. They start breathing for show...and fuck it all up. I must pretend there is a perfectly logical reason why I'm (pretending) taking your pulse twice. The reason is, however, top secret information.
I dropped the spanish class I was going to take summer term. On second thought, nine credits does not sound like the fun having time this summer. What was I thinking?

Today I want to talk to you all about shitting...and the importance of having a clean asshole.

I happened upon a blog one day The Sneeze where the subject of the day was to bidet, or not to bidet.
I personally Love the idea, but one smart cookie put it this way for the non-believers: If you got shit on your arm, would you just smear it off with toilet paper...or would soap and water seem more reasonable?
Now I have always been the kind of person who can't stand to shower unless my bowel has finished doing it's thing...which can take a few cups of coffee in the morning....and pooping After I've showered just plain pisses me off. So I came into some student loan money recently and decided that although I may not be able to have a bidet, I Can wipe my ass in sanitary style by switching to baby wipes.
It was wonderful.
Everyone else thought so too.
Those shitty assholes used all my baby wipes.
I never heard anyone in this house give a damn about their dirty, sweaty assholes before.
There is this stereotype involving Europeans about how dirty they are...bathing only once a week or so. Well, they wash the shit off their browneye with soap and water, you fools, so who's dirty now? Huh?
I enjoy the confidence that comes from having a squeaky clean asshole at all times.
For those of you still on 'the dark side', I encourage you to 'come into the light'.