A Shitty Post

So as I become more learn-ed in the art of blood pressure taking, I am realizing the psycological operations involved. You can't take someone's respiration rate if they know that's what you're doing. Bastards. They start breathing for show...and fuck it all up. I must pretend there is a perfectly logical reason why I'm (pretending) taking your pulse twice. The reason is, however, top secret information.
I dropped the spanish class I was going to take summer term. On second thought, nine credits does not sound like the fun having time this summer. What was I thinking?

Today I want to talk to you all about shitting...and the importance of having a clean asshole.

I happened upon a blog one day The Sneeze where the subject of the day was to bidet, or not to bidet.
I personally Love the idea, but one smart cookie put it this way for the non-believers: If you got shit on your arm, would you just smear it off with toilet paper...or would soap and water seem more reasonable?
Now I have always been the kind of person who can't stand to shower unless my bowel has finished doing it's thing...which can take a few cups of coffee in the morning....and pooping After I've showered just plain pisses me off. So I came into some student loan money recently and decided that although I may not be able to have a bidet, I Can wipe my ass in sanitary style by switching to baby wipes.
It was wonderful.
Everyone else thought so too.
Those shitty assholes used all my baby wipes.
I never heard anyone in this house give a damn about their dirty, sweaty assholes before.
There is this stereotype involving Europeans about how dirty they are...bathing only once a week or so. Well, they wash the shit off their browneye with soap and water, you fools, so who's dirty now? Huh?
I enjoy the confidence that comes from having a squeaky clean asshole at all times.
For those of you still on 'the dark side', I encourage you to 'come into the light'.

From the Junk Mail box

Links

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Okay...I'm sure this is designed to beat spam filters (which it didn't) but is it just me, or does it sound like some biblical entertaining guidelines? I guess with all the religified homeschooling Jacob's mom has been sending over, I see it in everything.

• Edit-Me

Rama and Julie's birthday lunch at Ruby Tuesday's 

Mom and Amanda at the Rooftop. If you know us at all, you can imagine the sounds..Baaaahhhh. 

I sure look chunky next to her. Gawwwd! I used to be the thin one. 

We flagged Roller down while we were shoe shopping on Third St. He flipped a bitch and revved it up. Everyone on the street stopped to stare. We cause such a scene wherever we go. It was great. 

Julie is the only one here who looks halfway sober. 

Mom and Richie at the D 

Me, Eric, and Julie the next day. 

Hazel and Max 

My sister Amanda and her boyfriend 

Me, Rama and Harmony at the Deluxe...I quit drinking as soon as we got there cause the smoke gave me a headache. I was designated.