The Mopping of the Floor

I do have to say that Swiffer is probably the single most ingenious invention of our time. It's time to mop the floor and I actually get a little giddy cause I get to play with my swiffer. It's the housewife's best friend, I tell you. And when I am finished, i get to rip off the oversized maxi pad full of dirt and other even grosser stuff, view it, wrinkle my face in disgust, and throw it in the trash. You see, to me, seeing the dirt on the pad is like my reward, and this is a kind of gratification that you never got with your old-fashioned mop and bucket. You would mop and wring, mop and wring, then mop and wring again, try not to throw your back out lifting the bucket to dump it, and then stand there and puzzle as you dump the yuck muck down the sink, 'how on god's green earth could this floor possibly be any cleaner that when i started now that i have diluted the dirt with pine-sol and spread it all over my floor?' Praise be to swiffer and any swiffer reps out there who want to send me some free pads(those bastards made them so spendy cause they KNEW we'd be junked out on them).